Today my sweet husband gifted me with a couple of hours to myself. So, I find myself holed up in a coffee shop, fingers on a keyboard, poised to type what has been rolling through my head for the last 10 days. Before the computer opened, I spent some time reading in my newly “decorated” (I use quotation marks because the designer is my two year old, and her tool was a ballpoint pen) Bible. Specifically, Psalm 104. A couple of verses jumped out to me that seem to coincide with what I am feeling today…
“These [His created ones] all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.” -Psalm 104:27-28
Y’all, it’s been a crazy week and a half. 2 weeks ago we were encouraged. Encouraged in our call to love the people of the church God has called us to. We were excited…hubby had an initial interview with RUF at his dream campus. We were feeling a bit more settled and secure than we typically do. Then hubby interviewed. And less than 24 hours later he was offered the job – a job that we could never, in a million years, say no to.
So, here I sit, through the buzzing chaos of last week…and truly, buzzing is a fitting word given the fact that I felt the TIP OF MY NOSE buzzing last Tuesday afternoon due to shock and probably a blood pressure spike, haha…ready to reflect on the Lord’s tender and compassionate faithfulness. It’s tender and compassionate even when it feels fast, furious, and neon. It’s tender and compassionate because He knows, deeply knows, us.
- Almost a year ago as we brainstormed campuses we feel like Andrew would be gifted to serve, and love serving…we named three. One, Duke, had just been filled and was largely what piqued our interest/put the charged paddles back on old dreams. The other two felt like ideals – and neither, to our knowledge would open any time soon.
- Hubs was hired in a way that is pretty unheard of for filling RUF positions…after a first round phone interview. Though we have never doubted that the Lord has called us to our current call and is using us here, it has often felt like climbing a mountain. This door to this campus with RUF was thrown wide open in a way that I am largely unfamiliar with in a lifetime of walking with Jesus. He removed the obstacles, He allowed us to walk out to an overlook to see lovely vistas.
- Hubby was set to be voted on to become an associate pastor of our congregation that same week. The shock of his hire made the loss of that sweet and encouraging vote feel loud and confusing. But a dear friend anchored us in reality when he reminded us…”This is clearly the Lord’s will for you. Can you imagine being called to RUF just weeks after the congregation votes? This is hard, but it is equivalent to breaking an engagement as opposed to annulling a marriage.” Goodness. Yes.
- We’re operating on a cash budget and I’ve been attempting to be dedicated to meal planning so that we don’t end up eating out last minute in our exhaustion. Last week I planned every meal, with the exception of Tuesday. The day he was offered the position. In my apple note, there was literally a “?” next to Tuesday. God wasn’t “?” about Tuesday. He knew we would need to rejoice and grieve, and do so with our church’s interim pastor and his wife.
- My in-laws planned a trip to visit us over a month ago for last weekend. Hubby and I knew that with the timing of the job offer and the congregational meeting/vote, we would need to expedite our process of telling sweet friends, adopted grandparents, and congregants our news of leaving. Thanks to my in-laws, we were able to blaze through those hard conversations…something that would be impossible without their love and their gift of childcare. (They won’t say this but I will, we seriously abused their childcare services! They got a sweet trip with the girls, but got tumbleweeds from us! Love you, grandma and grandpa!)
- This post may get edited to include more as the fog continues to lift from my brain. 😉
Precious Father, thank you for this good gift. Thank you for vibrantly assuring us of your provision, your tender care, your loving-kindness. Lord, I feel so undeserving and so treasured as I gather it up. As we look toward future things, please continue to guide us…through good-byes, through first hellos, through the selling of a beloved home, through the search for a new home. You are here, in this place. And we are glad.